So I have been cancer and chemo free since the end of March 2010. Just when I start feeling like my life is getting back to normal, I hear that a close friend has found a lump. OMG!!!
My first reaction is fear for my friend and the family. My heart goes out to them cause I know what that feels like. I know the emotions that are going rampant, taking over. I know the 'not knowing' is the worse thing ever and the feeling of hopelessness if overwhelming. I fear for them but try to be optimistic for them.
My second reaction when I got in my car to come home was anger. My friend had already battled and won over cancer and now it was back?! WTF?!! Why does this happen? Why them?
Third reaction, will that happen to me too? Will this fear ever subside? I almost feel like it isn't a 'will it' as much as it is a 'when will it', if that makes any sense. I am 42 years old and I fear that I won't be here for my grandchildren, my husband, my retirement years floating on a raft or travelling to Europe.
Good news is that my friend's lump ended up not being anything to be concerned about- tough month for them. I am so happy for them and pray that this will never be an experience they have to deal with again.
I also hope that fear will subside, not only for me, but also for all who have heard those dreaded words...'you have cancer' or 'we are not sure what this is...'. Let's keep that hope alive that those words will eventually disappear.
My first reaction is fear for my friend and the family. My heart goes out to them cause I know what that feels like. I know the emotions that are going rampant, taking over. I know the 'not knowing' is the worse thing ever and the feeling of hopelessness if overwhelming. I fear for them but try to be optimistic for them.
My second reaction when I got in my car to come home was anger. My friend had already battled and won over cancer and now it was back?! WTF?!! Why does this happen? Why them?
Third reaction, will that happen to me too? Will this fear ever subside? I almost feel like it isn't a 'will it' as much as it is a 'when will it', if that makes any sense. I am 42 years old and I fear that I won't be here for my grandchildren, my husband, my retirement years floating on a raft or travelling to Europe.
Good news is that my friend's lump ended up not being anything to be concerned about- tough month for them. I am so happy for them and pray that this will never be an experience they have to deal with again.
I also hope that fear will subside, not only for me, but also for all who have heard those dreaded words...'you have cancer' or 'we are not sure what this is...'. Let's keep that hope alive that those words will eventually disappear.
RSS Feed